Finding You: I Give Up

Hold my hand. Keep me close. Don’t let me think for my mind petrifies me. Don’t let me think at all. Can you do that? You can’t anymore. I’ve lost the count to the nights I’ve spent sleeplessly hypothesizing why not? You used to be enough to shush all those tiring, excruciating voices away. Now…

Dumps : Diary Entries of a Retard

”I don’t think there is a stop button to me. This is it, pretty much all of it. Please don’t read it. If you do, try to not to hate me.” March 24, 2016. Of the entire letters I left myself with, I couldn’t find an answer to the stuff I am going through now….

The Starting Point

Staring at the night sky has been my favorite thing to do since forever. Nature has always felt reliable; firmly adhered to a sorted out secret pattern indiscernible for human psyche. Feels dynamic, yet so stable. Although the visual experience remained exactly similar, I was a different person each time I witnessed a shooting star….

Sleeping Goodnight

Waking up is hard, therefore waking up feels okay. Everyday, I struggle. On days I’m less efficient, I have to go break down surrendering, screaming to the inexpressible, abhorrent thoughts my mind creates for me. I see people perform moronically illiterate of their inadequacies. I see them suffer. I’m scared to end up like that….

One Last Try

Okay, I’m definitely not the type of person who would want to cross your mind. So in case somebody’s reading this, please don’t care to judge me. So, why am I doing this? I’m keeping a track. Record for my one last attempt on life. I’m sick of feeling so much and lose my my…

Lost And Found

World can baffle you. Simple reflects complicated while remaining obvious. Faith eventually dismantles against consistent trivial challenges. Sentiments are inhumed in depths that only grow deeper. The outlines of once keenly devised individuality fade into oblivion. Nothing shields the assaulted child. No one looks for the missing bairn. The mind becomes an instrument; a contraption…

Extirpation

I had never felt a weather this strong The urge to escape what wasn’t my home I pulled on the string I’d been carrying so long Your words still indifferent; your eyes unknown. A voice so horrid, so clear Summoned a thunderstorm; bawled in my ears I witnessed that disgust in your leer I couldn’t…

You and I

The moment I wake up in the dawn You’re the reason I smile The steps I walked The ways I crossed You’re the reason for those miles Living a life Living it for you Makes it so much special Sure it does do! Isn’t this life’s what all about When you care for someone special…

Jump, But Not Today

Our competence makes us adapt to phases and skip difficult chapters just fine. When overwhelmed by fears, we run and cling to whatever has been our fossil refuge; a self-devised place in our minds that knocks us out with their narcotic reminiscent effects for as long as we need it or clearly for a period far…

Take A Dive

Perception is a tricky task demanding sincere struggle and focus. Originally simple, it gets more exasperating along the way. An open mind welcomes the billion outlooks laid in front of it. There lies no criticism but a curiosity to try on angles until a perfect one is found. This intense desire to know things and…

This Is Why You’re Impossible

I remember observing. Gazing at people trying to peek into what they truly are and if they hold the essence I needed to see exists. It took a lot of struggle, regular mending of my own outlook to be precise of my opinions and not prejudiced. I tried every angle, searched every corner, compromised my definitions even…

Crash And Fly

How does it happen? How do you become so strong, invulnerable and invincible that you seize everything away from life in return of that one thing it took away from you? The most precious thing that there ever was, is or ever will be. Time passes slowly when it is raining on a broken roof…